A Welcomed Goodbye

Today, I say goodbye to feeling sorry for myself. I say goodbye to sitting on the couch and saying "I'm too fat" whilst I eat another chocolate. I say goodbye to obsessing over food and making myself feel bad every time I look in the mirror or get dressed to go outside.

Today I say goodbye to yoyo dieting. 


And bloody good riddance too! I'm always doing really well on a diet and then falling off the band wagon into a river of crisps and take away's and I'm not doing it anymore. Every time I do relapse into old eating habits it is admittedly, a little less bad than the last relapse but that's not the point. The point is that I really want to be healthy.

The thought began to reoccur when I was eating take-away (of course) and I thought, "what the heck is actually in this? I'd never give this to my little girl." and it's true, I wouldn't. I feed my daughter healthy, freshly prepared meals and fruit for snacks and yogurts for pudding. Obviously she has a few treats and when she's with grandparents and aunts and uncles it's only fair I allow them to spoil her; but at home, I really do try to keep her healthy. All the junk food I unload into my own body only comes into eye view once she's in bed. I thought to myself, if I wouldn't put this garbage into my daughters system then why am I putting it into my own? Sure, I don't love myself as much as I love my daughter but surely I owe it to her to keep her primary care givers (including daddy - hi daddy if you're reading!) healthy? And what kind of a lesson am I teaching her sneaky away unhealthy foods whilst she's not looking?! a TERRIBLE lesson.

Now, I'm obviously not talking a self tyranny of only allowing myself fruit and vegetables and forbidding all my favorite treats - lets be realistic here, that would never work and would of course lead to a yoyo diet system. I'm talking about a healthy balanced system of eating. As the beloved Doc McStuffin advises "It might taste great, but treat it like a treat." I like to eat, obviously, and eat I shall! but in moderation.

Now, finally, I'd like to clear up that this is not a betrayal to my plus sized pride. Not at all. I will always be plus sized proud and I will probably always be plus sized. What matters is that you are HEALTHY and HAPPY. I'm not happy and I'm making a change. That's a positive movement. One should not hate a plus sized figure, plus sized women should feel confident in themselves but if you are getting to a point were you feeling unhealthy it's time to make a change.

This is me six years ago and that's a girl I really miss. I was plus sized then, but I was comfortable with the shape that I was and I was extremely confident in the fact that I was healthy. I was very active, I ate my fruit and vegetables and I even indulged in treats from time to time. I was happy and content in myself. Sure, your body changes as you become a mum and I accept that but I'm proud of my stretch marks and slightly altered shape (and delighted in the boob alteration) but I don't feel as healthy as I could be and that's the problem.

Goobye yoyo diets and ineffective self pity.

hello healthy living.